In 2018, at the age of 52 I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism (or as I prefer, Aspergers). Due to having a pre-existing condition, namely Klinefelter’s Syndrome, which I was diagnosed with in late 2015, at the age of 49, I completed the online Autistic Spectrum Disorder test, as during my research into KS, I’d found direct links to ASD and KS.

After completing the online ASD test, I self referred for an official diagnosis (which was a 2 stage procedure) and within 18 months I was officially diagnosed. Having the official diagnosis for both KS and Aspergers, enabled me to understand the reasons why I was the way I was at school; why I suffered a deep depression during my 20’s and how I’ve dealt with both conditions via learned behaviour. It’s enabled me understand why some tasks come very easy to me (like designing my own hypoallergenic protein shakes) and why some relatively easy and normal tasks, such a social interaction, do not.

Within a month of my diagnosis, I started to receive help from the KCC Adult Aspergers team. They were very helpful, coming to my home and interviewing me, asking me how my condition affects me and providing me with a outline of how neurotypical people perceive me. It was also noted that having both KS and ASD, I was very prone to being used and abused in many ways including both financially and sexually.

The KCC Aspergers team were able to assist me with applying with PIP, UC and getting on the housing list, all based upon my conditions. I had previously applied for PIP on the basis of my KS, which had been declined but was later successful due to having both KS and ASD.

As I have both KS and ASD, I am defined as having a comorbid condition. This means that I have one or more illnesses (either physical or mental) that are present simultaneously which makes it difficult to clarify which traits pertain to KS and which traits pertain to ASD (or as I put it, where the KS ends and the ASD starts (and vice versa)).

There are many different ASD characteristics and traits but some of the more pertinent ones are listed below:

Note: Autism and Aspergers has many names, including but not limited to, Apies, ASD, High Functioning Autism with “normal” people (people without ASD) being defined as Neurotypical (NT).

Intellectual or Artistic Interest

Aspies tend to flourish in at least one intellectual or artistic field. They can show extreme intellect or skill at a very early age which continues on into adulthood. As a young child I had a gift for drawing and then as time moved on I developed a greater interest in computers which I have continued to nurture into adulthood. I have always had a thing for formulas and tables, which is why it was so easy to design my protein shakes without the use of laboratories in the early days of design.

Sensory Issues

Some aspies have sensory issues such as light, noise or touch; in fact some aspies crave certain sensory stimuli to feel safe and treatments can include the use of such devices as weighted blankets or weighted vests.

I can block out traffic noise, even when it’s really busy. The only issues I really have is with screaming kids and getting my head wet in heavy rain – which even I find odd.

Speech Differences

Aspie children and adults lack verbal rhythm, monotone pitch and a peculiar inflection on certain words. Aspies tend to be unable to control the volume of the voice in relation to their surroundings. Aspies tend to speak loudly in quiet places such as churches and libraries.

I have never spoken loudly in quiet places, more the opposite, I tend to speak in a low tone. When I have raised my voice i.e. to shout, then it’s a bellow as opposed to just a shout.

Delayed Motor Development

Some children with aspergers may have delayed development with fine and gross motor skills, in that they may have difficulty holding a pencil correctly or may miss grasping a cup with their fingers. Gross motor skills may include the inability to throw a ball over-hand, even when they have been shown several times how to do it.

My fine motor skills with regards to holding a pen or pencil are more down to using a computer pretty much 90% of the time and being out of practice with the use of a pen or pencil. With the best intentions I start writing neatly but unless I concentrate really hard, it becomes an unintelligible mess, almost like I get bored writing.

Poor Social Skills

Due to an aspies limited field of interest and low emotional ability, aspies can feel isolated for much of their life. We can make friends but they tend to be temporarily successful or totally unsuccessful due to the lack of social skills.

I’ve never felt isolated, alone or bored throughout the whole of my life. I have always been comfortable with my own company. Prior to going into the first lockdown, a fortnightly adult aspie group that I went to was always advocating us to get out more, meet people, etc. Then we went into lockdown and we were told to stay in and away from each other. Sorted, no problem!

As we don’t indulge in idle chit-chat or small talk and we don’t talk about people behind their backs, then friendships don’t tend to last with neurotypical people.

I can count on one hand my friends. Due to being bullied at school, being used during adulthood, trust is a major issue for me. Due to having KS, my friends tend to be mostly female (as they have more empathy). My best friend is female; she understands me; doesn’t abuse or use me and we have been friends for over 15 years.

The Potential for Anxiety and Depression

During puberty and into our 20’s, aspies are at risk of developing harmful psychological disorders with the most common being anxiety and depression. I was bullied, relentlessly as a child and developed a high degree of anxiety and depression in my 20’s which lasted well into my late 20’s. Unfortunately, young aspies have a high rate of suicide which can be associated with both anxiety and depression.

At no time, even in the deep depression that I endured in my 20’s, did I ever contemplate suicide. The stigma and pain that I would cause others was always the overriding factor.

Detail Oriented

We have an extremely high attention to detail, which goes hand in hand with persistence. Many careers that require a high level of detail are ideal for someone with aspergers and various sports and hobbies that require the same level of detail will also be of interest to an aspie.

When I was designing my protein shakes, some would say that I was aiming for perfection. I would say that the intention was to get it as near to perfection as possible.

Persistence

A common perk of an aspie is persistence. Where others may give up, an aspie is stoic in their determination to get a job done, to perfection.

When I was designing my first protein shake, prior to setting up my company to sell my products, it took 14 months of 18 hour days, 7 days a week to design this one product. I was absolutely determined to get it right and I did.

Not Socially Driven

We are not socially driven unlike the rest of the population. We do not need to be in the pub or out at night clubs over the weekend, we don’t need a fancy 2 week holiday lazing on a beach and we don’t need to be meeting socially for drinks or meals with friends, family or co-workers.

That said, when you truly trust someone, who knows you inside out, going for a meal, drinks or shopping with them is a pleasure. I have no issues with shopping in busy places such as Bluewater or Lakeside by myself, it’s just more enjoyable if you’re with your bestie.

High Integrity

As an aspie myself, I do not engage in unnecessary drama and I don’t play mind games with others. I’m straightforward to the point of abruptness with people i.e. I tell people who I like and don’t like, who I can trust and not trust. If I love, respect and care for someone, I tell them.

I don’t lie or steal from others; I don’t look for other people’s approval as I have positive self-esteem; I am always the eternal optimist and I will not go along with the crowd if I know that something is wrong.

Most of these are typical traits of someone with aspergers.

Routine

Many aspies have a set routine or regimen. They know exactly what they are doing that day or week and woe betide anyone that stops them from following that routine. However, as a late diagnosed aspie, I have learnt to alter my plans for others which is part of my learnt behaviour.

I don’t tend to get overly stressed, I’m more laid back – it’s not that I don’t give a shit – it’s just that I handle issues at my pace.

Trust, Trustworthiness, Secrets and Abuse

Trust for me takes time. I have trusted too readily in the past only for it to blow up in my face. These days I hold back, a little too much sometimes but then this is something I’ve only recently learned to do. I have one true friend, who I trust implicitly because I know they will never use and abuse me.

Abuse, I have been on the receiving end many, many times; at school where I was mercilessly bullied by my peers for 10 years; by my co-workers and bosses in jobs, which is why I had so many jobs between the ages of 20 and 40 and just by people who you befriend, take pity on or just want to help, who take advantage of you.

Having both KS and ASD, I am overly helpful, where saying no isn’t in my vocabulary and saying it seems alien; I have been told that I am very nice, very caring and trustworthy. I tend to see the good in everyone, even when there is none.

If you tell me something that is meant to be a secret, it is kept. It’s like I’m told it, then it’s compartmentalised and forgotten until it’s required, if ever.

It is said that aspies see everything as black and white; it’s either right or wrong and there is no in-between. I have been the victim of manipulation on many occasion where I have been abused, where a person that you trust will unwittingly do something that is not wholly right but on the other hand isn’t wholly wrong either. This is a position that no aspie should find themselves in as they have no way of processing these actions.

As an aspie with KS I find myself questioning at times the way that I think, the almost cavalier attitude that I have over my emotions or actions that I seem to have no control over, almost like I am self sabotaging myself. Just when I think that everything is going good in my life and I’m feeling good, something comes along or something that I’ve recently done, or done in the past comes along and screws it all up.

I’m not emotionless but I know that I don’t show any emotion externally; If I’m highly stressed I don’t show it but unfortunately, like most aspies, I internalise it. When my dad died 3 weeks after my 30th birthday, there was no emotion, no crying, nothing. At the time I didn’t understand it; now being a diagnosed aspie, I understand it. Serious situations that would cause normal people to have a meltdown don’t seem to affect me at all.

Klinefelters vs Aspergers